Saturday, November 20, 2010

Due Date

I've known this day was coming, and yet some how is snuck up on me still. I was listening to Christmas songs this afternoon (yes, I know, a little early), when I stumbled across a favorite song with a new meaning.

Selections from "You would have loved this" by Cori Connors

The greenery is laid across the mantel
And ornaments are hanging on the tree.
And cradled in the windowsill's a candle
A beacon in the night to call you back to me.

You would have loved this, you always loved this,
I know you loved this time of year.

And though I understand one day again I'll see you
I long to touch your hand, hear your voice, feel you.

You would have loved this, you always loved this,
Oh how you loved.


I'm so sad that what should have been our first Christmas together, is our first Christmas apart. I hope you know that as we sing songs and give gifts and remember the birth of our Savior, that you are in our thoughts always. And because of a baby born so long ago in Bethlehem, I get to see you and hold you again.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Seven Months

My dearest baby Cecily,

It's been seven months since you left me and went to Heaven.

I'm a different person than I was before that day. I hope in some ways, I'm a better person. Some days, I'm not so sure. But I'm trying to be strong and good, the kind of mother you'd want me to be.

I still miss you so much, and I think about you every day. But the pain isn't as sharp as it used to be. It is more like a dull ache in my heart for the baby I don't get to hold, at least not now. I hope you know that I miss you and love you.

Love,
Mommy