We lost our baby on April 11, 2010 at nine weeks. I am still heart-broken, but I am coping. I'm learning to dance in the rain.
We decided to name our lost baby, and I have found great comfort in that. I know she won't be forgotten. We don't know if she was a boy or a girl, but we had a feeling that she was a she.
With our boys we didn't officially decide on a name until after they were born, and we had planned on doing the same with this sweet baby. But we did give them nicknames when they were still inside me. We had been calling this baby "sesame seed." We even taught our boys to say it, although it came out as "Sessy." It turned out she didn't grow much bigger than a seed, so the name seems fitting somehow.
But I didn't want that to be her official name. I wanted our baby to have a real name because she was and still is a real baby -- my baby. Sessy was fitting since that is what her brothers call her, but that seemed like a nickname too.
We decided to name her Cecily. It means "blind" which I thought was a little strange for a baby name. Then the phrase "love is blind" came to mind, and I knew her name was perfect. I never saw her, and I never held her, but I'll always love her.
Cecily, your mommy loves you!
Kristi - I am so sorry for your loss! I know how hard it is, I lost my first 2, one at 10 weeks and the other at 11 weeks. My heart was so torn apart that I couldn't face trying to have another baby for almost two years. The Lord had to tell David and I that it was time to try again. I am so sorry! I will keep you in my prayers. - Lela
ReplyDeleteKristi, I am so sorry! I hope that you continue to feel peace through your grieving, and that you find the answers you seek.
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